To become a driver with Uber or Lyft, the vetting process is overly extensive and only protects them (Uber & Lyft) in case something happens. To clarify, they have put in place these supposed stringent guidelines because they know a new position entirely to the job market that's perfect for lazy burnouts will bring more than plenty of applicants. They can weed out 99.9% of all applicants by hair color as far as they are concerned, not by criminal backgrounds... they cover their own ass which is understandable. It wouldn't be prudent to advertise or to let be known that they hire strictly pedophiles reformed and peeping tom/stalkers rehabilitated if you're trying to lure people into perfect strangers cars. Yes, the driver had best be an eagle scout youth minister who in his full time cleans oil from baby seals at the retirement home where he volunteers. Definitely not someone who has had lifelong run-ins with the law for as little as a pedestrian traffic ticket, to as serious as Armed Robbery, possession of explosive devices, or any and all narcotics possession that have ever been catalogued as illegal substances, but have never been convicted of these of charges... like myself. The charges and their severity do not matter, but the convictions certainly do. Right, because some poor little 90lb. Single mom couldn't afford a good attorney when she turned 21 and got some bullshit dwi from some dickless clown that thought she was cute enough to pull over at 2a.m. and ultimately she gets a felony conviction! SHE! THAT SINGLE MOTHER OF 3 AND THREAT TO ALL SOCIETY TRYING TO MAKE ENDS MEET IS NEVER GONNA WORK FOR UBER!!! however, this sociopathic, con- man with the devils charm and a rapists wit can go to the front of the line because he knows how to play the game and burn the system. Awesome! This means I can deliver narcotics on the low and remain under the radar because im just a stupid uber driver.... duh!! Duh!!!

Ok, all that being said, Uber has a policy that makes sense, but I'm not talking about it today, I'm talking about one of the other 377 policies that ensure I don't fan farts into passengers faces or demand gas money with my chrome on their temple... "why are you crying? Give me the change for gas or I'll uber your brains all over the dash!"

You see, if they cared about their customers, they would take the time to interview some of these freaks they subject you to instead of rejecting a nun who got set up by a dirty (all of'em dirty) cop 40 years ago and recieved a felony after she happily agreed to sit in jail for 60 hours. Extremely stupid people enforcing extremely stupid policies to police extremely extremely stupid people... these people are so stupid, they cannot spell felony let alone convince anyone they're smart enough to commit one.

Still, the policy I am referring to is this one. A few nights ago, I had a girlfriend in my truck with me as I picked up some loser passenger that was going to a star trek costume party that I may have insulted about 7 times. The passenger filed a complaint that he felt intimidated by the additional passenger.... a girl... of course he was intimidated!! She was hot! She was a girl and hot! My question to their audacity in telling me who I can have in my vehicle is this...
Do you think I give a ###, about what you have to say about the last policy I haven't until now broken? No reason to think about it Uber... why is it when I pick up 5 300 pounders, there is no concern for my safety? Because I'm the piece of shit driver that never broke wind much less a law so I could someday drive for Uber? Well check this out.....

### you!